“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” These words from the Dalai Lama hold a profound truth, one that Devishobha Chandramouli discovered through a deeply personal journey of self – rediscovery.
It all began with a simple observation from her sister during a family gathering. “Your mad laughter is missing. What’s happening?” Those words were like a gentle nudge, jolting Devishobha into a realization. She found herself reminiscing about her childhood and teenage years, a time when laughter flowed freely, unburdened by the weight of the world. Somewhere along the way, that carefree laughter had faded, replaced by a more serious and somber demeanor.
Life had thrown its fair share of challenges her way. Financial struggles loomed large, and her relationships were caught in a maelstrom of turmoil. Instead of bouncing back, she allowed these setbacks to define her. She became her own harshest critic, blaming herself for every misstep and wallowing in self – pity. Her anger grew, and she felt justified in her resentment, a feeling that slowly but surely snuffed out her ability to experience joy.
It was through reading Tiny Buddha’s 365 Love Challenges that she began to understand the importance of self – love. But breaking free from the cycle of self – criticism was no easy feat. It took a series of wake – up calls from those who cared about her, prompting her to take a long, hard look at herself and her thought patterns.
After months of self – observation, she unearthed a set of simple yet powerful practices that helped her reclaim her happiness and, with it, her smile.
The first step was to become acutely aware of her physical and emotional triggers. She realized that her health and mood were intertwined, and by paying attention to her body’s signals, she could make choices that soothed both. Avoiding procrastination and managing her schedule more effectively were small but significant changes that made a big difference in how she felt about herself.
Next, she learned to focus on solutions rather than placing blame. By shifting her mindset from “who’s at fault” to “how can I fix this,” she felt more in control of her life and more approachable to others.
Dressing up, a seemingly trivial act, had a profound impact on her self – esteem. Wearing clothes that made her feel good not only enhanced her appearance but also lifted her spirits almost instantaneously.
Following a ritual provided a sense of stability and grounding. For Devishobha, chanting mantras before her first meal each morning was a practice that filled her with a sense of calm and confidence, a reminder that she had the power to change other aspects of her life as well.
Smiling, even when she didn’t feel like it, was a game – changer. Studies have shown that our external expressions can influence our internal emotions, and she found this to be true in her own experience. A simple smile at a stranger in a queue or during a walk opened her up to the world around her, making her feel more connected and content.
Talking to loved ones was another powerful tool. A conversation with her father, in particular, during a difficult time, reminded her of the person she used to be and the love that surrounded her, giving her the strength to let go of her anger and try again.
Being kinder, both to others and herself, was a transformative practice. Letting go of indifference and engaging in kind exchanges, whether in person, over the phone, or via email, had a profound impact on her happiness.
Making difficult decisions, such as quitting a stressful job to pursue her passion for writing, was terrifying but ultimately liberating. It was like clearing away the cobwebs of doubt and starting anew.
Starting somewhere, rather than waiting for the perfect moment, was a lesson in embracing imperfection. She realized that the fear of showing her imperfect self to the world was holding her back, and by taking that first step, she began to grow.
Breaking the negative thought pattern was an ongoing battle. But by consciously associating positive things with those who made her angry, she slowly but surely chipped away at the power of negativity.
Finally, remembering that everyone, including herself, is human was the key to forgiveness. Understanding that we are all on a learning curve in life, and that our actions are shaped by our experiences, helped her let go of grudges and embrace a more compassionate outlook.
In the end, the path to renewed happiness is a personal one, filled with self – discovery, self – care, and self – compassion. By investing in ourselves, taking the time to understand our thoughts and feelings, and being gentle with ourselves as we heal, we can all find our way back to the joy and laughter that make life truly worth living.
