“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” Desmond Tutu’s words offer a glimmer of solace for those mired in the depths of despair, a sentiment that KS Abbott understands all too well. If you’ve ever found yourself uttering, “I hate my life,” you’re not alone. Abbott once walked this same desolate path, consumed by fear and a sense of hopelessness, but emerged on the other side with insights and strategies to share.
Abbott’s descent into darkness began with an emotional collapse. Suddenly, the world she once saw through a lens of hope and joy transformed into a landscape of fear. She initially believed the problem lay outside herself, or perhaps that she was losing her mind. In reality, a series of bad experiences had shifted her internal filter, causing her to focus solely on the negative aspects of life.
Therapy and self – help attempts to dig into her past only seemed to re – traumatize her, trapping her in a cycle of regression. She realized that while her past traumas were real, she was the one perpetuating her pain. She had fallen into the habit of hating her life, a pattern reinforced by learned behavior and an endless analysis of her negative feelings.
The concept of toxic positivity often gets a bad reputation, and while it’s important not to dismiss real problems, Abbott argues that many who rail against it are simply stuck in their own negative mindset. The idea that we can choose to move beyond suffering, as the old Buddhist saying “Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional” suggests, is a powerful one. After the initial processing of grief and pain, there comes a time to shift our perspective.
With this in mind, Abbott offers four practical ways to boost happiness, a “not – so – magic formula” that worked for her and her clients.
First, start your day with a twenty – minute morning routine. Begin with exercise. After a quick trip to the bathroom, engage in stretching, weightlifting, or aerobic activities. Put on some energetic music to get your blood pumping and release those feel – good chemicals. As you exercise, your body will thank you, and your mood will receive an instant lift.
Next, create a visual reminder of your goals, inspiration, or vision. Make sheets filled with motivational quotes, images, or ideas and place them where you exercise. Reading or looking at them as you move helps cultivate an empowered mindset. Whether it’s quotes from your favorite authors or images that represent your dreams, these visual cues can serve as daily reminders of what you’re working towards.
The third step is to keep a gratitude journal. Every morning, take at least one minute to list three things you’re grateful for. Even on days when it feels like there’s nothing but negativity, there’s always something to be thankful for. You can also write down your intentions for the day or note the ways the universe has supported you recently. Looking back on previous entries and seeing how much you have to be grateful for can be incredibly uplifting.
Finally, start your day by consuming motivational and upbeat content. Whether it’s while getting dressed or making your to – do list, listen to or watch something that focuses on empowerment, achievements, and the positive aspects of yourself and the world. This isn’t about ignoring problems; it’s about arming yourself with the energy and motivation to face them head – on.
Before diving into these practices, it’s crucial to ensure there’s no underlying medical issue causing your unhappiness. If you’re unsure, consult a professional. Also, give yourself the time and space to grieve and process recent traumas; don’t rush through this important stage. But if you’ve done the work of processing and still find yourself stuck in a negative mindset, these strategies offer a way out.
Trying these methods for a month could be the catalyst for change. It may not solve all your problems, but it can provide a much – needed boost of positivity and hope. Once you experience the impact of these small changes, you’ll be inspired to make more improvements, shifting your life from a state of stagnation to one of progress and happiness. Remember, the journey out of despair begins with a single step, and these four practices can be that first step towards a brighter future.
