“Happiness is not a matter of intensity, but of balance, order, rhythm, and harmony.” Thomas Merton’s words resonate deeply, especially in a world where busyness often masquerades as a badge of honor. Lori Deschene, a writer who cherishes a slow – paced life, found herself at a crossroads, torn between her comfort zone and the allure of growth. Her journey offers invaluable insights into how we can stay balanced and happy even when life gets overwhelmingly busy.
Deschene has always preferred a life unhurried, one filled with time for movies, aimless neighborhood strolls, and moments of quiet reflection. This unrushed existence fueled her creativity as a writer, providing ample space for exploration and self – discovery. However, she soon realized that beneath her love for leisure lay a web of fears and limiting beliefs. Whenever new opportunities presented themselves, she would retreat, using her busy schedule as an excuse. The fear of failure or the potential for increased responsibility kept her from taking risks, trapping her in a state of stagnation.
This year, she decided to break free from these self – imposed constraints. She began to embrace new challenges, redefining herself beyond the roles of writer and free spirit. While the decision was liberating, the execution proved to be a different story. She overloaded her schedule with projects, from launching a redesigned forum to writing a book on self – love and creating her first eCourse. She took on more tasks than she could realistically handle, neglecting her own needs in the process. The pendulum had swung too far from calm to chaos, leaving her in search of that elusive middle ground.
Through this experience, Deschene discovered four conscious choices that can help anyone adjust to a busier lifestyle: recognizing non – negotiable needs, setting realistic expectations, regularly checking in with oneself, and learning from emotions.
Recognizing your non – negotiable needs is the first step. Take the time to identify the top two or three things crucial for your emotional well – being, physical health, and overall sense of balance. For Deschene, this included daily meditation, journaling, exercise, consistent sleep, and dedicated time for relaxation and play. By establishing these bare minimum requirements and creating a plan to meet them, you’re essentially saying yes to your own happiness. It might require setting boundaries, asking for help, or saying no to certain demands, but the payoff is a more fulfilled you.
Setting realistic expectations is equally important. Many of us, like Deschene, create schedules based on our idealized goals, only to feel disappointed when we can’t meet them. We often fail to account for the unexpected, whether it’s a task taking longer than anticipated or a new opportunity popping up. When it comes to self – imposed deadlines, we have the power to ease the pressure. Instead of fixating on what we haven’t done, we should focus on what we can accomplish in the moment. A more flexible approach, where we adjust our plans as we go, allows for a smoother journey through our busy lives.
Regular self – check – ins are essential for ensuring our choices align with our intentions. Deschene discovered contradictions in her own actions: trying to do everything herself out of fear of delegation, and taking on new projects while neglecting other sources of joy. By recognizing these discrepancies, she was able to make adjustments. Similarly, we should regularly pause and reflect on what we truly want, both in the long term and in our daily experiences. If our current actions aren’t supporting our desires, we can make small but meaningful changes.
Finally, learning from our emotions rather than reacting to them can be a game – changer. When we step out of our comfort zones, a whirlwind of emotions follows. Some are natural responses to growth, while others are signals that something needs to change. By asking ourselves questions like what led to this feeling, whether it’s due to neglecting our needs or pushing too hard, and what lesson we can learn from it, we can turn our emotions into valuable guides. This way, we become more present, balanced, and effective in our busy lives.
In the end, finding balance in a busy world is not about choosing between underachievement and overachievement. It’s about discovering that grey area where growth and presence coexist. It’s about making conscious choices that honor our needs, our goals, and our well – being. As Deschene’s journey shows, with the right mindset and these four conscious choices, we can navigate the busyness of life while still staying balanced and happy.
