“Ego says, ‘Once everything falls into place, I’ll feel peace.’ Spirit says, ‘Find your peace, and then everything will fall into place.’” Marianne Williamson’s words cut to the core of the human struggle for happiness. Henri Junttila, once adrift in a sea of misery, discovered that the root cause of his unhappiness wasn’t external circumstances but rather the self – defeating habits he had cultivated over time. His journey offers a roadmap for anyone seeking to break free from the shackles of unhappiness and embrace a more fulfilling life.
One of the most pervasive habits Junttila identified was waiting for clarity. He believed that to pursue his passions and find happiness, he needed a clear – cut plan, a roadmap to guide his every step. But in reality, this mindset was nothing more than a self – imposed prison. He learned that action, even in the face of confusion, was the key. It’s like navigating through a thick fog; taking one step forward reveals more of the path ahead. Instead of waiting for the perfect moment, we should listen to our hearts and take that first, small step. Perfection is not required; progress is.
Seeking permission from others was another habit that drained Junttila’s inner power. He constantly looked to others for validation, hoping they would tell him he was on the right track. But with each seeking of approval, he gave away a piece of his autonomy. The fix? Trusting oneself. When we stop relying on external validation and start listening to our inner guidance, we tap into a wellspring of strength and authenticity. Our dreams don’t need anyone else’s stamp of approval; they are valid simply because they make our hearts sing.
Hoping for future salvation is a trap many of us fall into. Junttila was no exception. He believed that reaching certain goals in the future would bring him happiness. However, he soon discovered that even when he achieved those goals, the happiness he sought remained elusive. The truth is, happiness is not a destination but a state of being available in the present moment. By learning to observe our thoughts without getting caught up in them, we can access the wellspring of joy that lies within us, right here and now.
The desire to take big leaps often stems from the same misguided belief in future happiness. Junttila found that this impatience not only made his goals more difficult to achieve but also led to sloppiness and a sense of selfishness. Instead, he learned to embrace the process, to find peace in the present moment. Taking a deep breath and noticing the happiness that is already available helps us slow down and appreciate the journey rather than rushing towards an illusory destination.
Faulty expectations can also cast a shadow over our lives. Junttila once believed that he could eliminate negativity entirely. But he came to understand that life is a mix of joys and sorrows, and it’s our relationship with these experiences that matters. When we let go of the idea that life “should” be a certain way, we can accept things as they are and reduce our suffering. We may still feel the sting of difficult situations, but we don’t have to exacerbate our pain by resisting reality.
Taking our thoughts seriously is perhaps the most insidious habit of all. Thoughts like “You’re not good enough” or “You’ll end up homeless if you follow your heart” can paralyze us with fear. Junttila realized that on his good days, he simply didn’t give these thoughts power. Our emotional state is a barometer of how much we trust our thinking. When we feel bad, it’s a sign to take our thoughts less seriously. Experimenting with this mindset, even for just sixty seconds at a time, can have a profound impact on our happiness.
Playing things safe keeps us trapped in a comfort zone, preventing us from growing and truly living. Junttila found that the discomfort of stepping outside this zone was often just a matter of thinking. When he allowed anxious thoughts to pass, he discovered that the unfamiliar could become familiar, and growth was possible. To live a fulfilling life, we must be willing to face our fears, take risks, and follow our hearts, even when it’s scary.
Focusing on lack is a habit that can turn a good life into a miserable one. No matter how well things are going, if we focus on the one thing that’s wrong, we can spiral into unhappiness. The key is to learn to live with problems, to solve them as best we can without stressing over them. When we stop fixating on what’s lacking, we allow our inner wisdom to guide us and often find solutions in the most unexpected places.
Resisting obstacles is a natural response, but it only makes our journey more difficult. Junttila used to see challenges as roadblocks, but he later realized they were stepping stones. By approaching obstacles with curiosity instead of resistance, we can learn valuable lessons and grow stronger. Surrendering to life doesn’t mean giving up; it means accepting that we can’t control everything and finding power in that acceptance.
Finally, neglecting our calling is the greatest obstacle to happiness. When we ignore our inner wisdom, our purpose, and our passions, we become disconnected from ourselves. Junttila found that excessive thinking was often the culprit, creating doubts and fears that led him astray. To follow our calling, we must let go of our preconceived notions of what our path should look like and trust the process, one moment at a time.
Happiness is not a destination to be reached but an inherent part of who we are. The habits that hold us back are nothing more than thoughts we’ve given power to. By becoming aware of these habits, observing our thoughts without judgment, and learning to trust our inner wisdom, we can break free from the chains of unhappiness. It’s not an easy journey, but with practice, patience, and a willingness to follow our hearts, we can discover the joy and fulfillment that have been within us all along.
