“The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness,” Abraham Maslow once wisely declared. Joel Almeida’s personal odyssey illustrates just how true this sentiment is, as he transformed his life from a chaotic blur of stress and sleeplessness into a harmonious existence filled with love, happiness, and presence.
Almeida found himself at a crossroads, wide awake at 4:00 am, consumed by the relentless pursuit of perfection. He strived to be an outstanding achiever, partner, and parent, but instead, he became an irritable insomniac adrift in a sea of endless demands. Caught in the whirlwind of multitasking, he failed to realize that a wandering mind, which dominates about half of our waking hours according to research, breeds overthinking, anxiety, and emotional turmoil. This not only hampered the quality of his work and play but also eroded the precious connections that are the bedrock of happiness.
The renowned Harvard Study of Adult Development, spanning seventy-five years, revealed a profound truth: those who truly thrived in life were not the ones who amassed wealth and fame but those who cultivated deep, meaningful relationships with family, friends, and community. Almeida came to understand that presence is the key ingredient in nurturing such relationships. Love blossoms in an environment of kindness, patience, forgiveness, trust, and hope, all of which are nurtured by being fully present and responsive in the moment.
Determined to change his ways, Almeida developed a seven-step approach to help him be more present in his busy life, a method that has since transformed his world.
1. Unveiling Your Inner Compass: Clarify What You Value
The first step involves identifying your core values, the guiding principles that make life truly meaningful. For Almeida, love, health, peace of mind, contribution, and self-actualization topped the list. By making values, rather than goals, the “mountaintops” of our lives, we can find fulfillment in the present, regardless of whether we achieve every single goal. For instance, even if the dream of a round-the-world trip with a partner remains out of reach for now, we can still show our love and commitment by giving them our undivided attention each day. This shift in perspective anchors us in the here and now, boosting our motivation and peace of mind.
2. Charting Your Path: Identify Your Options
Next, it’s crucial to evaluate the goals and projects on our plate. How do they align with our core values? How much time and energy do they demand? Almeida, driven by his passion to help others live with more calm, energy, and brainpower, faced a decision when his group started growing. Instead of expanding in a way that would consume too much of his personal time, he explored alternative options and launched an online learning center, a choice that allowed him to stay true to his values.
3. Laser-Sharp Focus
Focusing on a select few goals or projects is essential. By breaking down each goal into clear, manageable steps, we can avoid the trap of being pulled in multiple directions. Once we’ve identified our core values, it becomes easier to say no to tempting opportunities that don’t align with them. Almeida demonstrated this when he declined an amazing job offer in another country, prioritizing his family and the values that mattered most to him.
4. Mastering Time: Allocate with Purpose
Allocating time blocks for each task, as well as for relaxation, planning, and problem-solving, gives us control over our lives. Almeida, once a chronic worrier, found that setting aside specific time for worry freed him to be more present with his loved ones. This way, we can navigate the ship of our lives with purpose, rather than being buffeted by the winds of circumstance.
5. Immerse Yourself: Act with Full Presence
When it’s time to work on a task, throw yourself into it wholeheartedly. Inhabit each moment as if it were the most important thing in the world. Whether it’s pursuing a goal, spending time with family, or enjoying a hobby, being fully present enhances the quality of our experiences, calming our minds and allowing us to work and play more effectively.
6. Taming the Chaos: Save Non-Urgent Problems for Later
Not every problem requires immediate attention. By making a note of non-urgent issues and dealing with them during designated planning and problem-solving time, we can maintain our focus and avoid unnecessary stress. When faced with constant demands, it’s important to carve out time for self-care and recharge our batteries.
7. Navigating the Journey: Review and Adjust
Regularly reviewing our progress and the alignment of our goals with our values is like setting a compass for our lives. Just as a ship may veer off course, our lives can sometimes stray from our intended path. These reviews allow us to make gentle adjustments, ensuring that we stay true to our core values and the life we want to create.
Almeida’s seven-step process has been a game-changer, replacing his racing, anxious mind with a sense of focus and presence. It has led to warmer relationships, more fulfilling work and play, and a newfound confidence in his ability to handle whatever life throws his way. By following these steps, we too can inhabit the present moment with confidence, knowing that we are on the right path, living a life that reflects our most cherished values. It’s not about achieving perfection but about taking one step at a time, finding joy and fulfillment in the journey, and cultivating a life rich in love and happiness.
