“We cannot cure the world of sorrows, but we can choose to live in joy.” Joseph Campbell’s words hold a profound truth, one that Susan Ballinger discovered through a life – altering experience. Five years ago, a head injury shattered her world, thrusting her into a 深渊 of physical pain, emotional turmoil, and a sense of loss that seemed insurmountable.
Once a passionate special educator and school administrator, Ballinger’s career came to an abrupt halt at the age of fifty – seven. For over two years, her life was a blur of doctor’s appointments, therapies, and endless days spent in bed or on the sofa. The physical symptoms were severe – daily headaches, dizziness, vertigo, fatigue, and sleep problems. A neuropsychologist diagnosed her with executive functioning, processing, memory, and recall delays. But it was the emotional pain, the heartbreak of losing her ability to return to the classroom, that truly threatened to break her spirit.
Two particularly devastating incidents highlighted the depth of her struggle. At her grandson’s Grandparents’ Day, excitement turned to terror as she found herself trapped in a crowded classroom, overcome by a full – blown panic attack. The same thing happened at her granddaughters’ basketball game, leaving her feeling defeated and isolated.
As the frequency of medical appointments decreased and she continued to work on her PTSD in counseling, Ballinger reached a crossroads. She realized that she had been living half a life. Her career was over, her social life was in shambles, and she was drowning in self – pity. But instead of succumbing to despair, she made a bold decision: she was going to choose joy.
This wasn’t an easy choice. It required a complete shift in mindset. Ballinger began to focus on the beauty around her – the vibrant colors of flowers, the gentle purring of her cats, the soothing melody of music. She compartmentalized her thoughts, using strategies learned from her counselor to let go of the past and embrace the present.
She made a conscious effort to laugh more, whether it was by watching comedies or spending time with friends who brought out the best in her. Despite her pride, she started asking for rides from others, determined to break free from the isolation that had been holding her back. She even found humor in the chaos of her messy house, declaring “Bless this mess!” as she gradually worked on cleaning and organizing.
Ballinger focused on gratitude, accepting her imperfections, and taking control of the things she could – her attitude, words, and behavior. She learned to accept that it was okay to not be okay, and that it was perfectly fine to cancel plans on bad days.
As she embraced the concept of choosing joy as a lifestyle, a remarkable transformation occurred. Her friends and family noticed the change, and she felt a newfound sense of empowerment. She began to see the value in her retirement, reigniting her passion for making jewelry. Her house became a haven of order, and she became more functional than she had been since the injury.
This journey wasn’t without its ups and downs. Even now, almost five years later, some days are better than others. But Ballinger no longer hides away from the world. She has learned that joy is not just an emotion; it’s a lens through which she views life. By choosing joy, she has not only overcome the challenges of her head injury but has also discovered a brighter, more fulfilling way to live. It’s a powerful reminder that no matter how difficult life may seem, we always have the choice to find joy and transform our perspective.
