“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.” Jim Rohn’s words cut through the noise of our modern – day pursuits, yet so many of us, like Sumitha Bhandarkar, spend years chasing an elusive vision of happiness that always seems to be just out of reach.
Bhandarkar’s story is a mirror held up to the common human experience. As a child, she believed that getting into a good college would unlock the door to happiness. In college, it was a good job. Once employed, a promotion and raise became the keys. This pattern extended into her personal life too. Finding a partner, getting married, having children—each milestone was seen as the next step towards true joy. For over thirty – five years, she was caught in this endless cycle, never realizing that she was on a futile chase.
It was a harrowing experience at the hospital with her husband that jolted her out of this mindset. Waiting outside the emergency room, with her young daughter by her side, she had an epiphany. Goals were important, yes, but they were merely mile markers on life’s journey, not the source of happiness itself. Happiness, she discovered, was not something to be pursued in the future but something already within her, obscured by layers of mental clutter.
In the two years that followed, Bhandarkar embarked on a profound journey of self – discovery, learning to let go of the things that were keeping her from experiencing true happiness.
One of the most challenging yet essential things to release was the illusion of control. We often think we can manipulate every aspect of our lives, but in reality, the only thing we truly have power over is our attitude and reactions. Accepting this liberates us from the stress of trying to force outcomes and allows us to find contentment in the present moment, regardless of circumstances.
Trying to please everyone is another heavy burden we often carry. Each time we mold ourselves to fit others’ expectations, we stray further from our authentic selves. Bhandarkar found that shedding this need for approval was not only liberating but also a crucial step towards self – acceptance and happiness.
The sense of entitlement, that feeling of “Why me?” when faced with difficulties, had to go too. Recognizing that everyone experiences a mix of joys and sorrows helped her shift her perspective. Letting go of resentment, guilt, and pride was equally transformative. Resentment only festers within us, while guilt and pride can prevent us from forgiving others and ourselves, hindering meaningful connections.
Perfectionism, negativity, and draining relationships were other obstacles on her path. Perfectionism robs us of opportunities, negativity clouds our view of the world, and unhealthy relationships sap our energy. By choosing gratitude over complaint, distancing herself from toxic people, and embracing her imperfections, Bhandarkar began to see the world in a new light.
The busyness that so many of us equate with success was also something she learned to let go of. After decades of believing that constant activity and achievement were the keys to happiness, she realized that true fulfillment doesn’t come from a packed schedule. Similarly, the attachment to money beyond our basic needs, the fear of failure and abandonment, the habit of comparison, and unrealistic expectations all had to be released.
Finally, Bhandarkar discovered that to find true happiness, we must let go of the past and the future. Dwelling on past mistakes or worrying about what lies ahead weighs us down. By focusing on the present moment, she found beauty and joy in the ordinary, turning mundane experiences into sources of wonder.
Letting go of deeply ingrained thoughts and behaviors is no easy feat. There are bound to be setbacks, times when old patterns resurface. But as Bhandarkar learned, it’s the journey of unburdening ourselves that matters. Each step towards releasing these obstacles brings us closer to the happiness that has been within us all along. So, as we reflect on her story, we must ask ourselves: What will we let go of today to embrace a more genuinely happy life?
